"To grow to adulthood as a social species, including humans, is not to become autonomous and solitary.It is to become the one on whom others can depend."

- John Cacioppo

Yesterday morning my upstairs neighbour came to my back door. I saw her out of the corner of my eye, while I had my head down, vacuuming. "Grrr" I rumbled internally, "not now, I'm busy. I've finally got some time to myself, I've gotta vacuum, I've gotta get some work done, I've gotta blah blah blah.....maybe I can pretend I haven't seen her?" Realising I was being pretty ridiculous, of course I stopped what I was doing, took a breath to collect myself, and went to greet her at the door.

What followed was a warm conversation of connection, humour, empathy and deeper understanding of a shared situation. It left me in a much better state than I had been in prior to our conversation, and curiously much more ready to engage in the tasks I had set myself for the day.

Has something like this ever happened to you, where the 'inconvenient visitor' turned out to be a surprising and much-needed gift?

If our hearts aren't being scraped against something, always,

then why are we here?

We should hurt. And we should learn how to carry hurt. And we should learn how to hurt more inside of us, you know?

Because that allows us to be here and present and with others,

who are also hurting.

The things that scrape against our hearts...

 are the things that remind us that we're still here, and we're present for what the human experience is. 

My task isn't to arrive at the end of all this with my heart unsullied.

An unsullied heart means that I didn't use it. 

- Anis Mosjani, Poet Laureate of Oregon

From Travelling Unalone

Do you live life as though you are going to die?

Do we need to have a terminal illness to start noticing life? Do we need to lose something we love to truly appreciate it? How do we wake up to this wonder of living, every single day? How do we celebrate this one and only precious life?

It can be a tough gig, this being human, even at the best of times. Right now, it feels particularly difficult.

“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the earth.” - Rumi

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

- Anais Nin

We evoke and nurture the joy in each other, as an honouring of the irrepressible human spirit in each of us, and a willingness to be delighted by a world that, in spite of everything, insists on being beautiful in a million extraordinary ways.

"Nothing can be loved at speed"

- Michael Leunig

Many of us feel like we don't have the luxury, that we can't afford to go slow or else the whole life we've built will grind to a halt and come crashing down around us. But the truth is, when we feel like we don't have time to slow down is precisely when we need to the most.

“You gotta know when to be lazy.

Done correctly, it’s an art form that benefits everyone.”

Nicholas Sparks

“The only way to facilitate the space where we do something different, somebody has to show up in a different posture - somebody has to show up in a posture of love.”

Dheeyah Kanh

As I come to grips (or to hold hands) with the ways that I have “fought” for peace and so-called love, I am realising how much of my experience has been about power over or power under. To position myself above or below, to avoid having to feel the painfulness of mine and others humanity. Ouch.